Glittering Note
by Cyanide'n'Writersblock
Summary: A strange girl tells her tale about love, and heartache with a certain detective and a minor charactor with red hair. After a life with a gang, what's left? LxOC MattxOC
1. prologue

Glittering Note

PROLOGUE:

_My mother told me that when I was born I cried nonstop. She said that it reminded her of a woman who had just lost her child, and had gone through extreme heartache. _

A lone figure watched as the rain fell. They walked through the streets as though looking for something. In the distant a wolf howled. The figure looked up and smiled. _It was time._

L looked bored as he shifted through the mass of papers. He knew that this Kira case was going to be hard; he started to wonder if they would ever solve it. Light walked with a whole new stack of files. It was almost as if the entire building sighed. L popped another sugar into his tea and went on sifting. Finally as he went through the last one he looked around the room. Everyone else, even Light, had fallen asleep. L rarely slept, and if he was working on a case, which he almost always was, he never slept until it was solved. This was probably why he consumed so much sugar. He quietly spoke out loud to himself, "I wonder if _she_ could've solved this?" but then he shook the thought and picked up another stack of files.

"Altessa! Ms. Altessa!! Can you hear me??!! Wake up already, this is a collage classroom, not a kindergarten. Now can you please answer this question and join the discussion?" said the professor.

"Sure. What's the question?" the girl answered in response.

"Do you think that Kira is justice? Or is he just another murderer?" the middle-aged man asked.

"Hmm…depends on how you look at. In my opinion, Kira thinks he's justice." she said matter-of-factly and went back to doodling in her notebook.

"I don't understand your views. Maybe you can explain to us."

"Okay. I think in the beginning Kira was just a normal person like you or me. I think he must have had a strong sense of what was wrong and what was right. In addition, probably aspired to be a cop. Then he must have seen something that changed his mind on the law's idea of justice. Then he got this power and thought to take justice in his own hands. Of course, like the saying goes, 'with great power comes great responsibility.' the power must have gone to his head and then he started to kill people who got in his way. And now he's trying to play god." she said and then sat down. The professor looked dumbstruck at her answer. It was better than any one he would've given. Day after day, the professors always called on her. One day hoping that they'd outsmart her. She had decided that she was going to Japan. She had no clue as to why, she just felt like she HAD to go. Today was her last day in the boring collage. She didn't understand why the teachers bothered her so. I mean, they were the ones who asked her to come in the first place. Before she had left she decided to learn some Japanese, but found that it was simple and that she was already fluent in it. At 10:00 PM she left on a flight heading for the Kanto region of Japan.


	2. the beginning

**BEGINNING:**

When I first arrived at Wammy's house I wasn't impressed. Yes, it was a big building, it was beautiful, but I didn't see that. I didn't see ANY of that. I just saw another orphanage. Of course if you looked at my records they wouldn't say I'd been to one orphanage, but that would be if I had any records at all. The only record that I knew I had was a criminal record. The first half of my childhood had been living in an orphanage and the other was on the streets. I had had a family. But they died when I was little. Wammy, who had 'taken me in' smiled at me. When we pulled up he opened the door for me and smiled again. I stepped cautiously out of the car. Most of the guys in the gang referred to me as 'a traumatized puppy that can only live on the streets or be put down.' they used that saying a lot. I asked them why once, and they told that it was because most people living on the streets couldn't ever socialize again, like the pit bulls that the cops pick up, and they have to be put down. "Welcome to Wammy's House. This is Roger; he'll be taking care of you for the most part." I just looked up at him and nodded. When we walked in we were greeted by a rush of children. I guessed that they were looking for a new victim. Of course I look at least 5 years older then all of them. I thought it might be because of the way that I grew up that I looked older than I was, but I didn't complain because it came in handy on the streets. I was 13 but I could pass for 16. Most of the kids looked around 10 to 12. Some a little younger. I remained impassive as Wammy said something t the kids and took me to my room. I'd have a room to myself, but it was a small room. But of course I didn't care, a small room was better than no room at all. An older teen stood impassively at me. He had a stooped stature and was eating cake with an odd posture. Wammy motioned for the boy to come over where we were standing. "Altessa, this is L. L, this is Altessa, would you mind showing her too her room and telling her, her new name, schedule, and the rules her at Wammy's? I have other matters to take care of at the moment." Wammy said rushing off before he could protest. I had heard of L, and I didn't like him to begin with because many of my gang members had been caught by him. I sneered at him and walked off in the direction of the room. From looking at this place I could figure out the type of building it was and the layout. L looked surprised when he saw me walk off, which meant I was obviously going in the right direction.

He cleared his throat, and I paused and looked at him. "I might as get this over with," he grumbled to himself and walked up to me. "From your almost nonexistent records we couldn't seem to find a first or last name. Which means the name you're using has an 80% chance of being fake? So you may keep your name if you wish, but you have a better chance of using another fake name. Since it seems you were involved with a gang." he said. I had heard that he used a voice filter most of the time and figured that it must have worn off on him because his voice even sounded robotic.

"Altessa isn't even a fake name. It was one of my nicknames. As I'm sure you've noticed it means 'noble reaper.' I got it from killing with respect of my victims." I said impassively. "There was also another one, Vatusia, or 'they leave us behind'… I'm sure the reason I got that one is obvious." I said quietly. I think maybe he was attempting to cheer me up, but L coughed and said.

"What language is that?" he asked. I looked at him funny. Of course HE knew! He knew everything. I coughed.

"it's Andalusian." I said.

"oh yeah, now I remember. I never studied much on that language. May I ask who in the gang gave these nicknames?"

"my gang-mother." I said. A lot of people just thought that gangs were unorganized and just a bunch of people on the streets thrown together and that sold drugs, stole, and killed other people. They did that too, only the people they killed were either rival gang members labeled as threats to our gang members, or people outside gangs that were labeled threats. But we were a family and worked as one. Also I learned a lot of things such as a respect that most people wouldn't think you'd learn in a gang. We were both standing there silent. We must have looked funny though because we were both slumped in out posture (though I wasn't slumping as nearly as much as L) and he was biting his thumb nail while I chewed on my lip, which I did often. "so what's my new name?" I asked, mainly because I thought a new name would be interesting.

"do you remember your real name?" L asked. I glared at him. Like I would tell him. He got the message and sighed heavily. "fine." he said simply and gazed at me for awhile. Usually, when most people stare their eyes narrow, not L. when he stared intently his eyes widened. "the name you've been using is Altessa, hmm…" he murmured to himself. "since you're American, or at least you look American, giving you a Japanese name wouldn't do you any good." I was American. Or at least I thought so. I had to take a flight from the states to come to this place. I crossed my arms and tapped my fingers lightly. "your new name will be Willow. Do you have a last name?" he asked.

"I've been using the name Altessa Estelle." I said.

"then your new name is Willow Estelle. I don't usually give out last names. The kids here just use their regular names or obtain the last name Wammy. Now le-" he was cut short by a blond boy and a redhead walking to him.

"L! what are you doing here? I thought you weren't supposed to fly here from the states till next week." the blond yelled. The redhead hadn't looked up. He was intently trying to beat some game on a DS. L sighed and started to explain something to the blond. I assumed he was a boy, but when I took another look he could pass as a really ugly girl.

"I had to pick up ms. Estelle and came home early. The case was simple." was all I had heard him say. So he had been the one on the plane. I was wondering why I had flown here alone. Not that I had cared. I walked to the other boy who was so intent on beating his game. I saw he was loosing and tapped him on the shoulder. He paused the game and looked at me. I made a motion for the DS. He was hesitant but slowly gave it to me. It was Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. I quickly took the stylus and resumed the game. The boy looked eagerly over my shoulder, probably to see if I would wreck his game. I easily beat it in the matter of two minutes and got the bonus items that only hardcore gamers knew about. I had been a beta tester for the game and a lot of others. It was pretty good pay. The boy's mouth dropped open as I handed him back the game system. "my name's Willow." I said. "Well, it is now."

"I'm Matt, and that's my friend Mello." he said. He was still in awe.

"so how old are you guys?" I asked.

"I'm 11 and Mello's 12." he said quietly.

"I'm 15. Well it was nice to meet you." I said. I looked at him and saw that he was obviously checking out my wardrobe. My hair at the moment was cut short and blond. I wore my usual outfit of a hoodie that was cropped on the bottom, exposing my stomach, and the hood over my head where it would cast a shadow on my face to where it was difficult to see my eyes. Which were a mix of silver, blue, and green. They were contacts. I often changed my appearance so I couldn't be recognized by police. I also had on my black pants that hung on my hips, and black Converse that went to my knee. Also I had a pair of goggles that hung around my neck as well. He looked surprised when he saw the goggles. It was kind of obvious that he would because of the fact that a lot of people didn't wear them.

"wait!" matt yelled as I started to walk away. I turned around and gave him an inquisitive glance. "I was wondering if we could hang out, since we're some of the oldest kids here. I just got some new games, we could p-p-play together…" he said shakily. It was obvious that he wasn't used to playing video games with other people. Of course, I wasn't much of a social gamer either. Most of the best gamers weren't.

"okay, sounds cool." I said. He was cute I had to admit. L must have heard me because he stopped mid sentence when I said that I'd go. Then he cleared his throat.

"guys, why don't you go back to your rooms. I have to get Willow situated." L said. The boys nodded and walked off. Matt looked back one more time before leaving. I smiled at him and waved weakly. L started to walk towards the room. I followed him until he abruptly stopped. "this is your room." he mumbled. Then he said something about finally getting a piece of cake.

"so what time are classes?" I asked, since I had heard Wammy talking to him about telling me my schedule.

"I'll stop by your room tomorrow, 'bout 8. I'll tell you the rest then. Your stuff is already in your room, so unpack however you feel necessary." he mumbled while walking off. I had just barely caught it and sighed. He was so much help. I shook my head sadly and went into the room. The room was bland but immediately I started to unpack. I didn't have much, I didn't bring anything that I couldn't buy again. Other than my clothes I really didn't have much. I would ask to go shopping tomorrow. Of course I'd have to buy all the game systems. I decided that I might as well make sure they were ready to just pick up. I dialed my friend's number who worked with all the big gamers. He had enough connections and would set me up perfectly. As I asked there was no TV, I'd buy my own. The phone rang a couple times until I heard a click on the other end.

"yo, this is Mario. What's up?" the Hispanic accented voice sounded.

"Mario. I need you to set me up. The works, you know the deal. There's just one thing. I'm in England so I need you to send it to the Gamestop in the nearest mall." I said.

"Altessa!! It's good to hear from you. Last I heard they had you in jail. Heard you hacked into the government system for some of the gang. Don't worry, once boss caught wind that they had blamed the entire crime on you and you were caught he beat their asses to king fucking kong!!! England you say? What happened? Thought you were jailed up in San Fran." he said.

"I was, but I was busted and 'taken in.' it's hard to explain. Tell boss that I'm fine. Once I get outa here I'm gonna take a plane back to the states." I said. Mario laughed wildly.

"I knew it. No one can keep you down for long. So da works eh? I can hook you up. I'll send in some games dat haven't even hit da shit son!!" he said.

"of course. Well I have to go. Mario, don't call me by this number anymore. I'll contact you and give you a new number but until then don't call this. I'm gonna destroy this phone. And to everyone else, in the gang except for you boss and ma, we never had this conversation." I said in a venomous voice.

"got it. See ya 'Tess." he said and hung up. He didn't question me of course. Even though I was in England I was so connected in the gang world that he knew he could be dead within minutes of hanging up the phone. I threw all of my clothes into the small closet and went to bed. I didn't change except for taking off my hoodie and throwing on a black tang top. Before I went to bed I thought about it and decided that when I went shopping I'd have to buy new hair dye and contacts. I was thinking of going back to my original hair color. I'd keep the contacts though. Then I drifted off to sleep.

I was a light sleeper and when I heard L approach I awoke instantly. He was leaning on the doorway with a handful of sugar cubes that he would repeatedly stack in his hand or pop in his mouth. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged and made a slight hand motion signaling it was time to go to class. I looked at the clock that had already been placed in the room and saw that it was flashing 8:00. I knew he was coming to get me at the time, but I was also pretty sure that classes didn't start at 8:30, or even 8:15.

"Aren't you going to make me late?" I asked curiously. All he did was nod as a maid walked over to him and handed him tea and more sugar cubes. He nodded at her and dropped about 10 sugar cubes in the tea and slurped it. Then he started to continually dropped more sugar cubes in.

"it would be best if you got up out of bed and got dressed." he said in his robotic voice. I shrugged, got up and threw my shirt over my head. He tried not to act surprised but I could see that he was when I just started to undress. I smirked and took out a normal hoodie out and threw it over my head. I had an undershirt underneath it. I decided not to change my pants. Then I slipped my converse back on and got up.

"done." I said and walked past him. I could see him smirk slightly and turned to walk with me. From living with a gang for so long I had gained a sort of swag when I walked. I always walked with my hands in my pockets or with my thumbs intertwined in my belt loops. "by the way I was wondering if I could go shopping. Since I didn't bring much." I said impassively. L was probably as tall as me but he looked at least a foot shorter because of the way he hunched his back. When he walked it was amazing that he could still look up at you. Mainly because gravity forced him to stare at the ground.

"I don't see any problem with it." he murmured. I nodded and we walked in silence. Out of his pocket he took out a piece of folded paper and handed it to me. I took it and opened it up. Inside contained a schedule. Probably my class schedule. I quickly scanned over it and frowned. There were all advanced courses. My gang-mother, who I called 'ma', had taught me a lot when I was little. And I had learned a little from my time spent in the first orphanage. But this was beyond everything in my teachings.

"I can't do these courses!" I said and gaped at him. L sighed heavily.

"of course you can do those classes. If you couldn't, you wouldn't be here right now. I'll take you to your classes but I don't think you should participate at this moment because of you lack of confidence. I think that it would be best to start you with a skills test. If you really fall as low as you think, I'll make sure you're kicked out. After all, like you told your buddy, you can't wait to get out of this place and fly back to your gang." he said, with his index finger lightly touching his lip. I looked at him with shock. He had heard my conversation with Mario? Then when I thought about I decided that he probably bugged my room as well. I'd be sure to check as soon as I got back. I sneered at him and looked away. When we finally got to the first class room he knocked and opened the door before he got a response. The kids in the class widened their eyes with shock as they saw L leaning in the doorway such as he had mine minutes ago. "hey." was all he said. The teacher, and elderly man who's eyebrows made it look like they blocked his line of vision looked up from the book he was reading and stopped copying whatever line he was on the blackboard.

"L! what a surprise. What brings you to class?" the man asked. Looking surprised.

"I wanted to introduce you to your new student." he said and motioned for me. I slowly walked forward and glared at every single kid in the room. I saw Mello and saw that he was smuggling chocolate while the teacher was preoccupied. I smirked and I was pretty sure every single person in the room, including Mello, cringed. I had that effect on people. It was like my presence said 'I could fucking kill you all without blinking an eyelash.' not that I cared. When we went there we visited several other classes, all of them having the same effect as the first. When finally we visited the last class I spotted Matt in the back playing his DS. I smiled at the sight. When he saw me he was the only one in the room who grinned. I winked and left with L. He yawned and stretched when we were finally done. Then he took me to this office where I lounged on a couch while he went into some room. When he came back he brought back a pencil and this pack of papers. He told this was a skills test and that I had to do my best or I was going back to jail. I started to bite my lip. I wanted to go home, not back to jail. I sighed and started the lengthy test. The entire time I chewed on the skin of my bottom lip. I made it bleed several times as well. I was pretty sure it was swollen and dark by the time I finished. I sighed and rested my elbows on the clipboard. After a few minutes L came out. I had rushed through the test and just put down whatever came to mind. I knew I probably get graded badly because I was so fast. I remember teachers always despising those that finished first, and awarding those that were last. I was usually first, so I wasn't listed very high on their 'students-to-like' list. L took the test and flipped through it a couple times. Then he cleared his throat. "sorry about that. I know that was kind of long. By the way I asked Roger to schedule a ride that will take you wherever you wish to go tomorrow. You can bring whomever you wish. And since there's class tomorrow they will be excused. And you don't have to go to class till the results come back, and that might take awhile. Even so, you are more than welcome to wander around and enter whichever classes you wish. All I ask is that you don't disrupt the others." he said.

"sounds fun." I said sarcastically. L coughed and walked away.

"oh, and when you're shopping when you ring it up just tell them to charge it to Wammy's. have fun." he said and murmured something about sugar cubes. I smiled and went back to my room. I noticed that when I passed a door I heard fighting and music from assassin's creed. I politely knocked on the door. Mello opened it and snarled.

"what do you want. Unless you come bearing chocolate go the fuck away!" he yelled. I had taken some from the kitchen on the tour. It wasn't melted, still solid, which was the reason I didn't eat it. I was about to get it out when Mello was hit in the head by a Xbox 360 controller. I looked behind him and saw that my savior was Matt, who was grinning with a cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth.

"you didn't have to do that ya know." I told him smirking.

"I know, but I've wanted to do that for so long. It's just there were never anybody around to witness my death." he said, standing there triumphantly. I laughed and took the chocolate out of my pocket. Mello had been glaring at Matt but when I took out the chocolate he turned his attention to me and quickly snatched it out of my hand. "MELLO!" Matt yelled as his friend greedily took a chomp out of the chocolate. The way he ate it made me think of the sound of snapping someone's neck. I had been spacing out and when I got back to reality I saw that Matt was lecturing Mello about manners and how to talk to girls. Mello sighed heavily and dramatically and then turned towards me. He wasn't saying anything and then Matt elbowed him.

"thanks." he mumbled. I gave my classic smirk. And did a fake curtsy for him.

"no problem, mi liege." I said in an old renaissance voice. Mello was puzzled but Matt got it immediately. Probably because when you play so many knight games the language sticks. I said it because he sounded so much like a king being forced to thank a peasant. Mello sneered, even though I knew he didn't get it. "so, you guys want to come shopping with me tomorrow?" I asked. I would rather it have been me and Matt, since Mello was getting on my nerves, but I decided to just ask him because I didn't want more harsh feelings because he was being left out.

"hell yeah! I can't believe you got permission!! Roger is an effing douche bag and never lets us out." matt said enthusiastically. Meanwhile Mello took a crunch out of the chocolate bar and shrugged with a sneer plastered to his face. I smiled and walked in there room. It was obvious who's side was who's. Mello's was neat and the only thing littering the ground was chocolate wrappers. While Matt's was a mess, tangled wires and abandoned video game casings piled on the floor. Light glinted off of upturned game discs. I walked over to the TV sitting in the corner. The familiar blue screen of a paused assassin's creed played on the screen.

"so what part are you on?" I asked. Looking intently at the map, it was obvious he was in Acre.

"the fifth assassination." he said excitedly. I smiled and sat down on his bed. He walked over and sat down next to me. He un-paused the game went through the entire game. We sometimes alternated and both played, we discussed the game and certain combos. It was 4:30 in the morning when we decided to go to bed. Matt got up and walked me to my room, even though it wasn't that far.

"thank you for the awesome evening." I said.

"sure, no problem. Come again, you're always welcome." he said shyly. I kissed him on the cheek and felt his face heat up. He was so surprised that he started to walked away wobbly.

"hey Matt, one more thing!" I called after him. He turned around, trying to hide his blush. "are you gay, or what?" I asked. He looked surprised at my question. "I mean come on, no straight guy could put together that outfit." I said giggling.

"I-I-I'm bisexual…" he quietly admitted. I smiled and ran to him and hugged him.

"I don't care." I whispered in his ear. I heard a coughing behind us and Matt lightly pushed me away. I turned around and saw L standing there with his hands in his pockets. Matt blushed and turned around and headed back to his room.

"seems like you are nocturnal." L said amused. I glared at him and bared my teeth. "we do have a curfew, ms. Estelle." he added.

"curfew my ass. Go fuck a palm tree."

"I'm afraid that none grow around here. My deepest apologies." L said back. I snarled and brought out my gun and pointed it to his head. He scoffed, "go ahead. I dare you." he said his eyes widened studying me. My hand trembled and the gun shook.

"what's the percent of me pulling the trigger?"

"extremely low."

"dammit" I cursed and lowered the gun. He smirked and I glared at him. "why don't you-wait. What are you doing here?" I asked, curiosity now laced my voice though a trace of venom still lingered.

"patrolling the halls. I do it every night."

"liar." I said. L looked up at me surprised. I smirked.

"how so?"

"if you did patrol every night matt wouldn't have been so shocked when he saw you."

"how would he know."

"because someone would see you eventually and tell every other orphan."

"good theory."

"I'm only being logical." I said. He nodded and looked away. "so tell me the truth." I said. He looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. I sighed and refreshed his memory. "I had asked you what you were doing in the halls at like 4:45 in the morning."

"I could ask you the same thing."

"you could? I thought it was quite obvious." I replied sarcastically.

"do you really want to say that? I mean if I were to take a guess I would say you slept with Matt and were sneaking back to your room." he said robotically. Then it hit me as to why he was here, in front of my room.

"you were checking up on me!" I said taking a few steps back. He sighed and looked away. It was obvious that he was not pleased that he got caught.

"I-I-I was just…w-w-woried…" he mumbled. I laughed and went up to him and hugged him. I had completely forgotten that he was L, the greatest detective ever, the man who imprisoned several hundred of my gang members, the emotionless computerized voice, the man behind the letter. Instead I saw a person, someone who had feelings. I whispered in his ear, "thanks." he cleared his throat and backed up.

"well, you better go to sleep. And I'll go ahead and leave. I have things to plan…" I smiled and nodded. Then I went into my room and lightly closed the door. I stood there with my head against the door listening as he walked away mumbling about sweets.

When I awoke I heard a pounding on my door. I could smell the bittersweet smell of cigarette smoke, mixed in with the luscious smell of dark chocolate. I got up and went to my closet and picked out a few things to wear. "come on in guys!" I yelled. They both walked in. Matt acted like nothing had happened last night, and Mello looked like he didn't get much sleep last night. "give me a second, okay guys? I just need to get dre-" I was cut off when matt hugged me from behind. Mello sneered and took a bite of his chocolate bar. So much for forgetting what happened last night. I just couldn't seem to yell at matt to let go. "let go!" I said laughing. "I got to go change." matt frowned, but he let go and I walked in the bathroom and got changed quickly. I'd take a shower later after dying my hair. We walked out to the car that was waiting and I told the driver to go to the nearest mall. He nodded and drove. Mello insisted on sitting in the middle of me and Matt and I let him. When we first walked in the mall it was almost as if me and matt were pulled by gravity to Gamestop. Mello refused to go in and decided to go to some chocolate store awhile down. Matt started to search through the games while I went to the counter. I spotted Mario's cousin, Jose`, behind the counter.

"Tess!" he yelled when he saw me. I smirked in my trademark way and he winked. "got everything you ordered. The works." he said motioning to the back.

"that's awesome. You mind holding it for me for while. I got to do some other shopping. I'll some pick it up later okay?" I said. Jose` gave me a thumbs up and nodded his head in the direction of matt. He had obviously seen me walk in with him. "he's nothing to me." I said. Jose` frowned and sighed.

"fine. You should get a boyfriend. Right now the other gangs think you're in jail so he wouldn't be in danger."

"and then what? When I go back to the gang I forget about him? Forget any feelings I developed?" I asked enraged. Jose` shrugged.

"it's better than never having feelings at all. At least you attempted to be normal. Tessa, the gang isn't your life! You could do so many other things, good things. If you stay with the gang there's a chance your past will catch up with you and you'll be arrested and maybe get life. Take advantage of this moment." he said. All I said was 'humph.' and dragged matt out. I promised him that we would be back and I'd buy him whatever games he wished. I picked up some other necessities and walked into the hair store. I got some dark brown hair dye and then went to the contact place and picked up some green and purple contacts. Matt and Mello eyed my items and I just rolled my eyes. Finally after we got some pizza in the food court I went back to Gamestop, bought Matt 2 PS3 games, and then picked up everything I ordered. Matt's eyes widened when he saw the amount of stuff. I asked for some help and got some guys to help load the stuff in the car. On the way back I sat next to Matt and laid in his arms. But the entire time I kept going over my conversation with Jose`. _Does Matt really not mean anything to me? _was the question that kept surfacing in my head. Matt had pulled out a gameboy and a cigarette. When he took it out to blow the smoke I quickly snatched his hand and took a long drag out of the cigarette. He looked surprised but I just smiled and blew the smoke in his face. He took a drag and did it back to me. I laughed and lightly punched him in the arm. Then I pretended to choke.

"you two are going to make me barf up my perfectly good chocolate." Mello sneered. I decided to mess with him a bit and went up to him on all fours and lightly rubbed against him like a kitten. I laid my head in his lap and toyed with his cross with my hands balled up like cat paws. He tried to look away and ignore me, but I could see he was having trouble. Especially because my head was laying on his crotch. Matt saw that I was doing this to test Mello's patience and tried to stifle his laughter. Mello finally just pushed my head away and went back to staring out the window. I sat there like an abandoned puppy and gave him the saddest eyes I could.

"aw, Mello-yellow! Don't be mean." I whined. It was obvious that he didn't like to be called Mello-yellow. Matt had told me to call him that and now he was watching Mello and practically dying of laughter. Mello was about to reply but we arrived at Wammy's. We got out and someone was ordered to bring the stuff to my room. When all the boxes were loaded in my room I got out the hair dye and contact lenses. "Matt, could you start setting this stuff up? I got to go do something." Matt nodded and eagerly licked his lips. I could see that he couldn't wait to start setting up.

After an hour or two I walked out towel drying my hair. When I opened my eyes almost everything was set up and matt was connecting wires to my new alienware computer. I snuck up behind him and gave him a kiss. He immediately dropped the wires and I tried not to laugh. He turned around and gaped. I took a strand of my hair and twirled it in my hair innocently. "do you like it?" I asked. My new green contacts stood out.

"I thought you have bluish-eyes." he said. "and blond hair."

"I wore contacts and dyed my hair blond. Though this is my real hair color it's not my real eye color." I said sarcastically. I didn't know what I had said but the next thing I knew I was on my back staring up at Matt. He was holding my arms down and staring at me. "what?" I asked him blushing. He leaned down and kissed me on my lips. I was going to resist but I decided against it and deepened the kiss. His tongue lightly brushed my lower lip and I opened my mouth hesitantly. He pushed his tongue in my mouth and it fought against mine. All of a sudden there was a knock on the door and we broke the heated kiss immediately. "c-come in." I stuttered. L walked in and looked from me to Matt. We were both blushing and I couldn't imagine what was going on in his head about what he thought we were doing.

"I didn't mean to intrude." he said innocently. I glared at him. Yes he did. "Willow, I need to talk to you if you don't mind." I nodded and walked out of my room and shut the door. L looked at me for awhile and then smirked.

"what?!" I asked.

"nice look. You look better a brunette than a blond." he observed. I gave him a mean look and started to walk to the end of the hall.

"now what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

"I wanted to tell you that the test results will be pinned up tomorrow in the dinning hall." he said, walking up the stairs to the first landing.

"is that all?" I asked enraged. I followed him and blocked his way up to the next staircase.

"no." he said. I looked confused and then he grabbed me in and lightly kissed me. I was shocked and pushed him away.

"what was that for?!" I yelled.

"there was a bit icing of your lip." he stated, like it was normal. I was blushing again and he used it as an advantage to walk up the stairs. I watched him go out of sight and then fell to floor. I sat on the staircase for the longest time. Eventually Matt came out and got me.

"hey, are you okay?" he asked looking at me nervously.

"yeah, I'm fine. Let's go. I want to try out some of the new games." I mumbled. He nodded and we went back to my room. After that day I went to lunch with the rest of the guys. Everyone in the dining hall was excited because the test results were going up. The entire room went from an excited chatter to a dead silence when L walked through the doors and posted the piece of paper up and left quietly. He was not three steps from the list when a crowd of kids burst passed him to see the list. I sat quietly waiting for the crowd to pass. I was anxious, but part of me didn't want to see the results. All of a sudden there was a gasp from the crowd and every child looked at me.

"what?" I asked glaring at them all. Near, a child who had been #1 in surpassing L walked up to me and shook me hand. I gave him a funny look.

"congratulations. You are now #1 in surpassing L." from the corner of my eye I could see the detective himself looking at me, waiting for my reaction. I was shocked, but I was more outraged than surprised. I ran up to the board and ripped the list off. Everyone had gone down one level because of me and didn't even want to surpass that bastard. I swear to this day that my eyes must have been red.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH MOTHER FUCKER!!!! HOW DARE YOU?!! Do you want to die?" I yelled and then whispered and I got right up to him. He smirked, he SMIRKED.

Then he said, "congratulations. I had a great amount of faith in you." then, I punched him, hard. He went sliding and hit the wall behind him. He shook it off like nothing had happened. The whole room had gone still.

"I don't want to surpass you. don't you understand ANYTHING?" I said and then stormed off. Matt quickly followed me like a concerned puppy.

The next day L left for some big case and didn't come back for a month. By that time me and Matt had gotten pretty serious, of course I still thought of that day on the staircase. When I thought of it questions would race through my mind. I had gotten used to hacking into places. I was curious of the case that L was working on, and why it was taking so long. When everyone else had gone to bed, even Matt, who was passed out on my bed, I hacked into L's secret database. I had been attempting to hack into it before, but I only quietly tiptoed around and then left immediately. I sighed and before I put in the exact code to hack the firewalls, I got up and shook Matt awake. He shouldn't be there when I did it, because if I were to get caught, so would he. I told him to back to his room and he obliged, without struggle, only because he was half asleep. When he left I proceeded. I dodged firewall after firewall, and several computer viruses. Finally I got to the core. I found what I was looking for, his current case file. I clicked on it and made sure there was nothing to protect. After that I searched around the file. My computer beeped several times, telling me that I had been detected, it was only a soft beep which meant that it was either L or Watari who had discovered me. All of a sudden my screen went blank and an old English W appeared on my computer screen. I silently cursed to myself. A voice sounded out, it was going through a voice filter, so it sounded robotic.

"Ms. Estelle, I'm astounded you broke in so easily, but I'm afraid L wouldn't like this. I'll give you 1 minute to abort and leave immediately. That should be enough time, if you don't leave L will be notified and will not be happy." so, I sat there, for one minute I waited. I heard Watari sigh on the other line. In immediately 1 minute the old English W changed to an L.

"Willow, what is it?" the voice said, it was a voice filter, like Watari's. It almost sounded amused.

"I want to help you with your case." I said.

"impossible." he said.

"and why would that be?" I asked.

"because then there would be two L's and that would confuse the public." the voice said, sighing.

"who said I would go by L? I thought I made it clear that I was not replacing you."

"then what would you go by?" L asked, curious.

"I don't know, how about Altessa?" I asked smirking to myself.

"you'd sound like a criminal, and plus, it should be a letter."

"says you" I scoffed. "I mean, it's not like it's my real name. no one would know."

"except for your gang, which is one of the most crime related organizations in the U.S."

"the only one who knows my name are Mario, Jose`, Boss, and Ma. Everyone else in the gang knows me as Vatusia. I will contact those people and tell them that the Altessa they see is not the girl they knew. I will tell them that I have died. I'll tell them I committed suicide and write a fake note telling them not to take revenge on anyone. It'll be believable since they know I never liked revenge, it corrupted too many people around me…" I said. L was quiet for awhile. I could tell he was thinking about my proposal.

"I have one last question."

"shoot."

"why do you want to solve this case so bad. It has no ties to you, so why do you want to solve it so bad?"

"I'll tell you that part once it's solved. So show me all the data you've collected so far." instantly files popped up on my computer screen, one after another. After all of them had occupied my desktop, I quickly scanned over every single one of them. Me and L communicated with each other. I stayed up all night and locked my door. Mello and Matt quickly tried to get in, but the lock was even too high tech for them. Finally, I looked at all the pictures of the victims and it finally hit me. The way the victims were laying, it reminded me of someone. "L!" I yelled quickly and started typing on my computer. I took all the photos together and quickly overlapped them. It was there. All of the victims were lying in the same position. Because the area around them was manipulated it was hard to see the pattern.

"what is it? Have you found something."

"yes I have. I'd like you to set up a meeting with the people who hired you for this case. I'd like to reveal the murderer there and then. Have two laptops so you can be there as well."

"I understand. You should get a package in one hour, it's a voice filter. Also you may design your message however you wish. You'll have to modify the filter though. My employers are French, and as I'm sure you've noticed, that's where these crimes take place." I had known that from the basic file.

The next day I was set up for the announcement. I was in Roger's office and hooked up to everything. L requested I give out the information in front of Roger, probably to show off the reason why I should succeed him. I talked into the voice filter when L gave me the okay that I was ready. "I have gathered you here today to tell you the outcome of this case. I have noticed that the pattern in the body's position is the same. Even though it's not noticeable because of the fact that the environment around the victim's have been manipulated, how is not important. As you can see," I said and quickly brought up the same picture overlap that I myself had discovered the connection on, " all the body's have been manipulated to make the same symbol. It's a symbol from a wives tale in gangs. it is said that if the body is laid in this specific symbol, the symbol for 'forgiveness', the murderer will be saved from a guilty conscious. It's very similar to the symbol for 'respect', which is another tale. The only person who kills like this is a coward named Howard Casings. He's 24 years old, height, 5'6, he works during the day at a car dealership on the east side of L.A., he had recently got a vacation and went to France, where his fiancé, who had run off on him to go with another man, was currently living. She was the first victim. That was another connection between the victims. Though it was not listed and you had to uncover a bit to find it, they were all women who had cheated. My guess is that Howard had been going into bars and finding poor souls, who had been the men in which these women had cheated, it was obvious that they told Howard their stories. He then found the women and killed them, leaving the corpses in this position as to save him from going mad with guilt. I met the man once, then he had been killing mother's and their children, after he lost his first wife along with his son. He was never caught and the police was sure that he had hung himself. He had attempted but failed. He then met his second love and it happened all over again. All the women and children were lying in the same position as you can see here." I said and listed pictures of the victims of the other man's murders. All of them matching the women.

"L, who his this new detective? I have never heard of her yet here she comes and solves the entire thing." one of the men said in French, but it appeared to me in subtitles.

"she is one of my companions. She is not a big time detective and this is her first debut but as you can see she has proven herself worthy. If anything is to happen to me then Altessa will take over for me." I flinched when he said that. Not just because he still made it to where I would surpass him, but because he had called me Altessa. It was obvious of course, Altessa was the name written in Old English capitols on the bank screen they were watching. The only difference between mine and L's screen was the fact that the background on my screen was black and the letters white, while it was vice-versa on his. I had insisted on that. It was to show that even if I was forced to take over L's spot, I would not be L. I was pretty sure he noticed it. All of a sudden the doors opened and I watched as two women stepped in.

"men, these are agents KiraKira Hiroshi, and Amaya Rukiko. I have hired them on the account that Mr. Casings has left France and is now in L.A. These two women are from the FBI and work in that distinctive area. They will catch Mr. Casings and arrest him. When they do this case is solved, it shouldn't be that hard because Howard has gone back to his job and believes that he is Scott free. At 1:00 in the afternoon he will be behind bars and will be found guilty before the court, in other words, this case is solved." I finished. There was applause from around the room. "now if you'll excuse me gentlemen, I must go. I thank you for your time and effort, but you are officially excused from this case." I then shut the computer off and leaned back into my chair. Roger stood there looking astounded. I took a tape and casually tossed it up in the air. I had sent a copy to L and I'm pretty sure he was puzzled as to why I didn't reveal this piece of evidence. I decided to let him do it. I counted 5 minutes and then there it was, the familiar beeping. I opened my computer and there on the screen was the L. "impressed?" I asked jokily. I had switched the voice filter back to English.

"very. I'm amazed you figured out all that. I did what I'm guessing you wanted me to and presented the men with the tape."

"yes, thank you. It will be presented at court, it will be used against him. He will probably get life." I said.

" you said that you had met him. But you didn't elaborate?" he asked. I sighed and explained.

"when he first started killing he went to Boss and asked for help. He declined and had him kicked out of the premises. I had no idea it was him killing until I overheard ma talking to one of the gang sisters about one of the women telling him about the tale of forgiveness. I recognized it instantly. It made me sad though, he was such a lost man. But killers must be stopped."

"unless they're family?" L asked. I could see where he was going with this,

"those who kill to protect, they are someone to overlook in my book. Those who kill to relive sadness, or gain pleasure from it, those who do it only for the sake of themselves, those are scum. Gangs kill to protect. I used to think of us like a lion pride. You had the highest male, the boss, and his wife, the lead gang-mother. The women would care for the children and help carry out things so the gang could be fed, housed, and clothed. The other males protected the pride, the gang, and did what was ever necessary." I said quietly.

"interesting. Does that make you part of the royal family?" he asked.

"right now, it makes me a threat." I whispered.

"you told them?"

"yes, they are all mourning my death right about now."

"did they want to see the body?"

"yes. I told them it had been cremated and the ashes thrown in the sea. I had always like the open water." I said. "the call was untraceable as well. I told them I worked at the orphanage and to protect the children they couldn't find out which one or where. There is going to be a memorial stone set for me in the Light before Shadows Cemetery, where all the great gang members where buried. I was thinking of attending my funeral in disguise, but it was too much of a gamble, I know myself too well."

"well, I thought I could compensate since I got you into this." L said and instantly the screen turned into a video screen. It showed the entire gang, standing there with their heads bowed. The women were crying and even some of the men. It was almost funny, the toughest gang members and criminals standing with each other crying. I almost laughed out loud. Almost. Until I saw boss and ma holding each other.

"L. turn it off. I'm not ready to watch this yet." instantly the screen turned back into the L.

"I understand. It's always here for you to watch."

"thank you." a few days later the criminal had been trialed and was now facing life in prison. And L was coming home. Matt and Mello refused to talk to me though because of the fact I had worked on a case with L and solved it when he couldn't. And since nobody would talk to me I usually stayed in my room. Not even coming out to eat or go to class. The teachers sent the lessons and the homework and I completed it and sent it back to them. When L arrived, I was the only one to not greet him. I knew that the question all the kids wanted to ask was if I really helped him or not. I didn't care about his response. No matter what he would say the others would still hate me. I laid in bed all day and I threw away all the food that they sent up. I hadn't eaten anything in the past 3 days. I had taken just a couple sips of water to stay alive. But I could now barely get out of bed. So, I laid there and stared up at my ceiling. I would now only get out of bed when I had to go to the bathroom. Near noon, there was a knock on the door. I pressed a button and the door unlocked itself. It slowly opened and L was standing there. He cautiously walked in and closed the door behind him.

"what happened?" he asked as he saw my state. I closed my eyelids but I couldn't go to sleep no matter how hard I tried.

"I'm sure you want to know why I wanted to solve that case so bad right?" I asked, my voice was raspy after not talking for 3 days as well.

"you promised." he reminded me. I laughed to myself and then with the last bit of energy I could muster I lifted my self up and kissed him lightly.

"it was because I wanted you to come home. And you had some icing on your lip." I said and then finally fell asleep. I felt him kiss my forehead and leave. When I woke up he was sitting on a chair that had been placed beside my bed and was eating ice cream.

"I was waiting for you to wake up." he said. I had heard him speak French and Japanese fluently and wondered why the only language he where sounded robotic was English. I looked at my arm and saw the IV hooked up. I went back to looking up at the ceiling. "if you do this every time I go on a case I'm going to have to start taking you with me." he joked. I lifted up my other arm and lightly hit myself with it. He looked at me confused.

"I hate you, I hope you're aware of this." I said.

"oh, and why might I ask."

"because I like Matt. Matt Jeevas is the only one my heart beats for." I stated, more to myself than him. He looked hurt and I sighed and went on. "but for some insane reason whenever I'm near you my heart decides to jump into my throat and it's all I can do to breathe." he sat there staring at the floor. "what's the percent of me falling in love with you?" I whispered.

"30%." he said. Not too low, not too high either.

"the chance of you falling in love with me?" I whispered. He had gotten up and was heading to the door but when I asked my second question he froze. Without turning around he answered just loud enough for me to hear.

"0%." he said and walked out. A tear silently slid down my cheek. I wiped it off quickly when I heard Matt and Mello walk in. They were both standing there with their hands in their pockets. I raised my eyebrow and looked at them. My contacts were still in, and I had to change them or else they'd fall out and show my real eye color. And that was one thing that I didn't want.

"I forgive both of you for ignoring me. I understand, if I were you I'd be mad too. I hold nothing against you so you can stop acting like that and sit down." I said and motioned to the two chairs on the opposite side that L was sitting. I could see that the boys realized where their mentor had sat and were dumbstruck. They quietly sat down and looked at me worriedly. I sighed and held my hand out to Matt and took his and held it for the longest time. "they had to put me on an IV drip because I couldn't handle solid food yet. I hadn't eaten for three days." after I said this Matt hugged me and wouldn't let go. I hugged him back lightly because I didn't have the strength to hold him like he was holding me.

"please, don't ever do that again. Promise me Willow. I don't ever want to see you like this. It scares me. And dealing with Mello almost my whole life, not a lot can scare me."

"you take things way too dra-"

"PROMISE ME WILLOW!"

"fine. I promise I'll never end up like this again. There. Happy?" Matt nodded and I kissed the top of his head.


	3. Life

For the next year I worked along side L as Altessa. I solved crimes in the shadows. I was never revealed to the public. Only the police knew of me and even then me and L were still considered as working alone.

One day me and L were sitting in his room discussing our last case when he brought up something I'd forgotten. "you never pull your gun on me. Looks like my deduction was right." he said. I vaguely remember the time I had the gun to his head.

"well, that's why you're one of the best detectives on the Earth." I said and smiled.

"actually, I'm the three best detectives in the world." he said from the computer chair. I smirked and walked behind him. Apparently he didn't realize that the way he sat made him susceptible to being pushed over. And so I when I got behind him I leaned over and whispered into his neck.

"cheater." was all I said and pushed him off. Surprisingly he toppled over. He rubbed his back where he had mainly fallen.

"that's not fair. Now who's the cheater?" he said. Though it was obvious he was amused. I pretended to look around the room for something. Then I gave a dramatic sigh and looked back at him.

"you still are." I said and a smirk crossed my lips.

"and how is that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"because technically you only hold the number one spot. Since you're the same person. It's not fair to the rest of us who can only aspire for forth place. And no one recognizes forth place." I said and pouted. He had gotten up from his place on the floor and stood in front of me. He had his face fairly close but his eyes were still downcast. I knew he wasn't looking at anything particular. He was just thinking. About what, I had no idea. Then when I angled my head a little to try to study him more he closed the distance between our faces and kissed my lips lightly. I had been expecting something like that. I quickly deepened the kiss and he quickly parted. For some reason he thought this was wrong. For awhile it had been, I had been with matt. But matt started to ignore me as though I was one of his old video games he had beaten for the millionth time. So, without words we separated. I wanted to be with L now anyway. Out ages weren't that far apart. Of course in most places I was legal. I was 16 now. I could drive and soon I'd be kicked out of Wammy's House. Most of the kids came here early on and only a couple had left. Not many though. I was already overstaying my welcome since the rule was that you must leave at 15. But instead I had arrived. And ever since I started working with L, I didn't go to classes anymore. He taught me everything and more. The only language he didn't want to teach me was Japanese. Not that I cared only because I hated learning languages.

"we shouldn't do that. Quick kisses are fine. But nothing more." he said robotically. I didn't understand. Every language but his own he could speak fluently. Yet when he talked English it sounded like someone who had just learned the language. I let out an irritated sigh.

"why not?" I asked angrily. "you always do that! Every time I get a little closer to you I get pushed away! I'm sick and tired of it L. And you know damn well I am." I said. He tried to think of something to say, something to change the subject. I closed the space between us and kissed him hard. Though I didn't try to deepen the kiss in fear that he'd break it off again. I parted slowly when I saw that he didn't respond to my kiss. Tears slowly slid down my cheek, but I didn't cry. I don't cry. I stopped doing that along time ago. He took his thumb and wiped away the streams running down my cheeks.

"because I don't like people. And people tend to not like me. They think I'm strange. I think they're ignorant." he said and picked up a sugar cube and popped it in his mouth. It never ceased to amaze me how his room didn't attract ants. Then a picture of L being bombarded by ants formed in my mind. I giggled and he looked at me curiously. I then did something I wanted to do along time ago. I sat in his chair and lifted my legs onto the chair and put one hand on my knee and then took my other hand and put my thumb in the corner of my mouth. L looked at me even more amused then before. "may I ask what you're doing. And what it might accomplish?" he said.

"I'm copying you. And it will accomplish nothing except taking away my curiosity." I replied. The position actually felt quite comfortable. You could…almost…fall…asleep…

Then next thing I knew I was being lifted off the chair and onto the queen sized bed that was pushed in the far corner. It was quite comfortable though I knew it was never used. When he laid me down and kissed my forehead I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his waist. He froze. I could feel his entire body stiffen. I looked up at him innocently though innocence was not what was controlling my actions at the moment. "please?" I whispered. Before he could answer my lips had contacted with his. I knew he was a good kisser, he could tie a cherry stem in a knot using only his tongue. I brushed my tongue against his bottom lip. He denied me though and I forced his lips open and explored his mouth eagerly. I knew at that moment he was debating with himself, and the good part of him was losing. I slipped my hands up his old white t-shirt. He made no motion to stop me. He couldn't. the next thing I knew my own shirt was off. Then came pants and underwear. Since I'm sure you know what happens next I won't go in great detail. Some things are better left unsaid.

I woke up alone. I had fallen asleep afterward and he wasn't much of a sleeper so I was left to sleep alone. I had a pretty good idea he was freaking out right about now. We had gone all the way and usually he didn't even allow us to kiss. I got up and took a shower in the bathroom connected to his room. I was a little sore, but it wasn't that bad. I had gone through worse pain. I turned the shower on and stepped in, letting the water fall on my skin. I had a feeling the shower wasn't used a lot either. It wasn't my first time, that's all I'm saying. After my first time I felt violated, yet after what happened I didn't, I felt…whole almost. Like a part of me that was missing has been filled. I stepped out of the shower and dried off. Then I put in my color contacts, and put my clothes back on. I threw the wet towel in the laundry hamper that wasn't very full. I carefully walked out of L's room and went to the dining hall to get something to eat.

After I ate I went into my room and played some Halo. Finally when I got bored I felt like talking to L to see if there was a new case. I didn't want him to think I was clingy, but I was bored as hell. I went to his room and didn't find him. I looked everywhere he would be and couldn't find him. Finally I went to Roger's office. I slammed my hand down on the table. Roger looked up quickly and looked round nervously when he saw how pissed I was. "yes, ms. Estelle?" he said as coolly as he could.

"where is L? I wasn't informed of any new cases!" I said through bared teeth. I saw him swallow hard. "there's something you're not telling me Roger. And you might as well tell me because I WILL find out eventually. So this can either be easy and painless, or difficult and painful. You pick. It doesn't matter to me either way, I get the same result." I said smirking evilly.

"L, didn't want me to tell you, but he's gone to America. I don't know why, honest. That's all I know." I sneered and walked out. I hung onto the doorway a second longer and threw my head over my shoulder and grinned at the old man.

"thanks Roger. I'll keep Mello quiet for awhile as a reward. I could hear the man sigh in relief. I then later told Mello I'd give him a whole box of expensive German chocolate if he made sure he didn't give Roger any headaches for a few days. The boy naturally agreed. I then went back to my room and ordered a box of German chocolate imported from the heart of Germany. Of course I didn't have to pay much for it and it was of the best quality. This was because I had found one of the best chocolate makers in Germany's daughter, after she was kidnapped. I'd done it fast too, so he owed me a couple of favors. After that I hacked into L's personal database. He thought I couldn't get in it anymore because of the fact he put up more firewalls. It just took it longer. When I finally got in I found a file labeled 'America' and clicked on it. Inside I found a recent crime folder. When I read it I almost broke down crying. It was a report saying that several members within my gang turned on Boss and murdered him and Ma. They of course had become the new royals and led the gang to doing crimes that were visible. Instead of boss's way of keeping quiet and not attracting attention. Clearly these new rulers were idiots who wanted fame and attention. I cursed. The computer beeped and I quickly covered my tracks and backed out of the database before I was detected further. Even the best computer techs couldn't have traced me back. I made up my mind at that moment. I was going to L.A.

I had packed, said my goodbyes, and left for my flight. Now the only thing was to hook me up when I got to L.A. The plane I was taking was flown by an old friend of mine. An ex-gang member. Right now those were the only gang members I was seeking help from. I knew whoever was ruling the gang now had probably warned the others to not help anyone outside of your brothers or sisters. Of course everyone thought I was dead so I pretended to be a friend of Vatusia's . my hair had become medium length and auburn. I had red streaks in it and I had ice-blue contacts that looked almost white. I still had a hoodie, but it was flipped down. Then I wore some torn jeans, though I had ordered some new converse. These were lime green on the sides, with a purple tongue and black lace. I fell asleep on the plane the moment I got on. I slept for about half the flight. Then I woke up and played some PSP. I decided not to smoke, I didn't want to ruin such a nice plane with cigarette smoke.

We landed and I got all my stuff and got off, just nodding in the direction of the pilot and getting a thumbs up in return. I took out my laptop in the airport and quickly typed away. The current bosses were going to some concert type thing. L's men were likely to be there and L would be watching it go down somewhere close by. I took a deep breath and called the person, Jackie Reeves, and asked to be put on in the concert. I told her that it was a memorial to Vatusia and she quickly agreed. I'd sing one of my songs of course. I used to love singing but I haven't sung something in forever. I quickly went shopping and prepared an outfit for this night. I even hacked L's monitors so when I sang it would make sure he was watching.

Finally it was time to go on stage. I had on short black shorts with pant leggings that went down to me knee. Then I had a studded belt with a veil and a short black tang top and fishnet wrist warmers. Then of course I had my green tinted goggles around my neck. Then finally my converse and a black collar. When I stepped on stage everybody gasped. I stood there for awhile then spoke into the microphone. "this is dedicated to my friend who died last year. I'm sure you all know her, Vatusia. And this is her own song, called '1000 words'. I hope you enjoy!" I said and then the music started. I was nervous but I thought of L dropping his doughnut when he saw me on stage and instantly I felt better. I took another deep breath and started singing:

I know that you're hiding things  
Using gentle words to shelter me  
Your words were like a dream  
But dreams could never fool me  
Not that easily  
I acted so distant then  
Didn't say goodbye before you left  
But I was listening  
You'll fight your battles far from me  
Far too easily  
"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"  
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door  
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages  
Shouting might have been the answer  
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?  
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart  
Though a thousand words  
Have never been spoken  
They'll fly to you  
Crossing over the time and distance holding you  
Suspended on silver wings  
And a thousand words  
One thousand confessions  
Will cradle you  
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away  
They'll hold you forever  
The dream isn't over yet  
Though I often say I can't forget  
I still relive that day  
You've been there with me all the way  
I still hear you say  
"Wait for me, I'll write you letters"  
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor  
But still I swore to hide the doubt when I turn back the pages  
Anger might have been the answer  
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait?  
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late  
'Cause a thousand words  
Call out through the ages  
They'll fly to you  
Even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you  
Suspended on silver wings  
Oh, a thousand words  
One thousand embraces  
Will cradle you  
Making all of your weary days seem far away  
They'll hold you forever  
Oh, a thousand words  
Have never been spoken  
They'll fly to you  
They'll carry you home and back into my arms  
Suspended on silver wings ohhhh  
And a thousand words  
Call out through the ages  
They'll cradle you  
Turning all of the lonely years to only days  
They'll hold you forever  
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
A Thousand Words

After I finished there was applause and a lot of people were crying. I bowed and started walking off stage. A small price to pay for getting to see ma and boss's killers kidnapped. All of a sudden a gun was pulled and fired. I jumped when I saw it was aimed at me. I hit me in the leg and I tumbled. Blood ran down my leg and I quickly pulled out a knife and rushed at the killers. I pinned one of them and held the knife to their neck. Quickly police officers came out of the crowd and captured the other one of them men. Then one came up to me and gave me some handcuffs. I put them on the struggling man underneath me. I got up and stood on my uninjured leg. All of a sudden I heard yelling and listened. It was coming from the men. "VATUSIA IS ALIVE. ALTESSA IS ALIVE. THAT'S HER!! SHE'S NOT REALLY DEAD. OUR PRINCESS HAVE RETURNED!!" then I noticed they both had Spanish accents. I looked closely and realize who the two men were. I stumbled back and almost fell. It was Mario and his brother Jose`. I shook my head in disbelief. Then I realized that I was in danger. I quickly regained my balance and ran. I didn't know where I was running to, but it was out of this place. Instantly I regretted coming. I ran and ran and ran.

Finally I rested. There was a small park that I walked to and sat down on a bench. Blood was dried all down my leg and the throbbing pain had numbed into a slight tingle. I sighed and took out a knife. Then I limped to the middle of the park and lifted my leg on the fountain. Then I ripped my belt veil and bit down on it. After that I took the knife and sterilized it. Then I carved into my leg. I got the bullet out as quickly as I could. Then I wrapped it with another piece of the veil. The wound wasn't bleeding that bad so I tossed the bullet and limped back to the bench. I didn't want to call L. That was the last thing I wanted to do. So I looked around. My hotel wasn't but a block from here. I sighed and got up. It was too dangerous to sleep here. I limped to the hotel and went up. I felt for the hotel key in my pocket and then went in. I went into my room and noticed all my stuff was gone. I sighed once again and lied down on the bed. I couldn't sleep yet though. I went to the bathroom and got out the first aid kit. Then I properly cleaned and dressed my wound. After that I laid on the top of the bed and slept.

A man in a black suit was prodding me awake. "ms. Estelle? You need to wake up. I've checked you out of the hotel and the room service needs to clean. I found bloodied cloth in the bathroom so I assume you're wounded. Ms. Estelle ple-"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!!!! I'M GETTING UP OKAY?" I yelled after I got irritated. I got up slowly and yawned. Then I walked out since nothing important was there. My knife was quietly resting in my converse. There was one thing though. I got my ipod out of my pocked and put my earphones in. I had to admit I looked badass. Especially since the dark circles under my eyes had deepened and the bags started sagging like an old women. I walked out of the hotel and into the limo outside. If it wasn't meant for me I'd just jack it. I didn't feel like getting out. Of course it was for me. The agent got in the passenger's seat up front and there was silence except for the static coming out from me blowing my ears out.

We finally arrived at a building. It was pretty big, and automatically I guessed it was police headquarters. Though I had been living in England for the past year, I hadn't obtained a British accent. I walked out defiantly. Though it was hard not to limp because getting up fast this morning had caused it to open again. The entire bandage was stained red. And me being anemic didn't help matters much. Even though I still walked in. the FBI agent had caught up with me and led me into a room with huge monitors. I recognized the familiar pointy head sticking up from the swivel chair. I looked up at what he was watching. It just so happened to be my performance from last night. I scoffed and pulled out a cigarette, from one of my handy-dandy sneakers and lit it on a candle nearby. "it's good to see you again Willow. But may I ask what you're doing in L.A.? throwing yourself in harms way, almost getting recognized in front of your entire gang, and getting shot? I fail to see the point or you escapade." I pouted. He had said it in his usual robotic voice, but it sounded even more empty. Almost like he felt he was wasting his words. Then what he said next partly shocked and hurt me, "oh well, I guess I shouldn't blame you. After all, you're just a teenager." _just a teenager? _Is that what he thinks of me? Young and innocent? I seethed with anger.

"you're a fine one to talk, Ryuuzaki!" I said, it was alias he was using at the moment. "you always act like a child. So I guess you're the young one. All you do is hide. If something happens that you didn't calculate, you hide. Then you pretend it never happened and hide yourself in your sweets. I hope you're happy. Because this _teenager_ is forgetting about you forever!" I said. I should have stomped out of the room, or ran, or at least limped. But something held me back. Instead I just stood there. Looking like an idiot. Tears ran down my face, but I still wasn't crying.

"all of you are excused." L told the agents. They looked confused. Of course L didn't show his face. The FBI agents that worked for L privately would all swear they'd never seen his face. And they didn't. L didn't turn around in his chair until they left. Even when he was in the room it was equivalent to talking to a computer screen. He faced me and got up. Then he walked over and held me. It was awkward since he wasn't used to human contact. I pushed him away and shook my head violently. Then I took a few steps back. Then I collapsed onto the floor. The words, "just a teenager," hissed in my brain over and over again. He sat next to me in that weird way of his. "you remember when I told you there was a 0% chance of me falling in love with you?" he asked me. I looked at him disbelieving. Was he trying to make me feel worse?

"yeah…" I replied weakly.

"do you know why I said that?" he asked. I shook my head no, rather than answering and admitting my biggest fear: that the love was one-sided. "well, the reason for there being a 0% chance of me ever falling in love with you was because I had already fallen in love with you." I look up and gaped at him. Then I smiled and tackled him. "tomorrow we're leaving for Wammy's House, you're coming right?" he asked, studying me. I nodded yes and stole some of his sugar cubes. "hey! I was going to eat those." he said sadly. I laughed and pranced round the room. He sighed and shrugged and from out of nowhere pulled out another bowl, full with more sugar cubes.

"no fair!" I said and pouted. He gave me a smirk and I threw a sugar cube at him. Unfortunately for me, he caught it in his mouth.

"do you plan on wasting them by throwing them at me?" he asked.

"what are you getting me for Christmas?" I asked changing the subject. He looked like he was deep in thought for awhile.

"nothing." he said. I gaped at him. He looked at me confused. "what?" he asked. "you've never asked me for something for Christmas. And since technically you're not a Wammy's child anymore, I'm not required to get you anything. And it's several months away, why ask now?" he said. I didn't answer him because I was too busy sulking. I heard him sigh and go back to his work. "what would you like?" I giggled and tried to think of something. Then I went up behind him and threw my arms around him.

"you." I whispered to him.

The next day we left for England. I slept most of the way, but the dark circles under my eyes only deepened. I wondered if L had rubbed off on me, since the ones under his eyes were darker than if someone had used eyeliner and put them there purposely. I glared at him most of the way because he ignored me the whole morning. Of course he was too busy sifting through files and drinking tea to notice. I swear, if he found out the world ended he'd sit there and drink tea spiked high with sugar cubes. When we landed he immediately put away the files. Then Watari came in. "here you go, and ms. Estelle, would you like some coffee? It doesn't have as much sugar as L's, but I put some extra alcohol to make up for the lack of sugar." my eyes widened and I eagerly grabbed the cup. I thanked Watari and exited the plane. The kids were all in bed, or supposed to be anyway. So we arrived quietly and went to bed, well I did anyway.

In the morning something wet and sticky coated my legs. I lifted the sheets and cursed to myself. I had forgotten about my wound opening again and the bandage had ripped off when I was sleeping and I had bled a lot. I got up slowly, but even then I got light headed and had to keel over. When my vision finally stopped spinning I got up and pulled the sheets off before the blood could seep in any more. Unfortunately the main damage had been done and my bed ruined. I swore some more and decided to wash the blood off . So I took a shower, the water stung my leg and I knew I'd have a permanent scar. After I got dressed I rolled the legs of my pants up. Then I limped to the nurses office. Then I made the conclusion that today was not my day. When I got to the nurse, she was gone. In her place, my beloved L sat in his weird way, sucking on a lollipop. I looked away in embarrassment when he saw me with my wound. I couldn't tell if he was confused, or amused at the idea of bloodying my bed to a point of no return. "what?!" I yelled when I finally got tired of him staring at me and my leg.

"you're wounded pretty badly. It was from when you got shot on stage. I was wondering when you'd seek medical attention. If you would've done this sooner you wouldn't have had to waste a mattress." he said robotically as though he was solving a case and not pointing out the obvious and embarrassing me further.

"whatever, now can I just get this bandaged and go on with my life?" I asked annoyed.

"no. for one you need a doctor, not a nurse, and you'll need stitches. A bandage cant fix that alone." he said and took out his cell phone and made a call. I wasn't paying attention so I didn't know who he called. Several minutes passed and an old man with a thick mustache dressed in a white coat and brown pants walked in. "Willow, this is Dr. Williams." I nodded at the man and went back to trying to ignore the painful throbbing in my leg. The doctor told me to lay on the bed and I complied because I knew L would say something about me being stubborn later if I didn't. the man took out Q-tip and put some type of gel on the end. Then he put it on the wound and rubbed it in. it stung like hell, but I made no attempt to show that it hurt. In a few minutes the pain had subsided and the wound was numb. I looked at the doctor unbelieving. Then he took out a needle and thread. I grabbed L's hand and he stared at my hand holding his and gave me a look that said, "let go. You're scaring me." then the needle pierced my skin and the doctor sewed the wound. I was pretty sure he'd have to fix L's hand because I was pretty sure I had broken it from squeezing it so hard. After the whole ordeal was over I glared at L so hard that if looks could kill, he'd be dead, chopped up in tiny bits, and fed to man-eating penguins. He ignored my looks and continued sucking on his third lollipop.

A month had passed and it was finally fall. to celebrate I decided to take the other kids on a picnic. Some of them who could cook helped me prepare everything. Then me, and my favorite child, Rini, a young girl of 6 who had a bright smile and pigtails, helped me make all kinds of sweets. I didn't have the heart to tell them that he might not want to come with us. There was probably a 5% chance he'd say yes. But I tried anyhow. So the night before the picnic I went in his room. I had been sleeping there since I had yet to get a new mattress. L and I would do it sometimes, but it was the rare occasions when I would beg for days and he'd finally give in. he still wasn't keen on the idea. So tonight I went behind like I'd usually do when I wanted something and started to rub his shoulders. He still tensed up from human contact, but it wasn't as bad. "what is it? What do you want now? I'm not in the mood right now if that's what you want." he said annoyed. He was working on some murder case and was deeply into his work. I had just solved some major case in Russia and wouldn't take another case till next week.

"that's not it. Why would you think that?" I asked pouting.

"because it's always what you're looking for. My hormones have been dormant for so long that I no longer feel the need. You on the other hand are always active. And to think, you're only 16." I scoffed when he said the last part. But he was right, and it ticked me off.

"well, it's not this time." I said defiantly. He looked up from his work and raised an eyebrow at me. "I've decided to take all the kids on a picnic tomorrow. And we were hoping you'd come with us. We're just going to the top of this hill. It has an excellent view and there's the giant weeping willow for shade." I said. "so can you come?" I asked hopeful.

"no. I have much work to do as L and I can't take time off, even if it is one day. In one day innocents can be killed and mad serial killers set loose." he replied. I was seething with anger.

"how can you say that? It was you who said yourself that this was just a hobby. If that's all it is then you can take one day off. You said yourself this has nothing to do with justice. Look, these kids are aspiring to be you L. Not anyone else but you. So tomorrow they're idol is going to let them down. I guess you'll just say that it's teaching them the stresses of being L. The sacrifices, am I right?" I yelled. He wouldn't look at me. After awhile he didn't respond and I gave up and went to bed. I said nothing to him and when I got up he hadn't moved. I got a shower and got dressed. Then I went downstairs and called all the children. I saw all their faces and I couldn't stand to tell them L wasn't coming. Though I knew in my heart I didn't need to. They read it on me and I could see their faces fall. I tried to optimistic but it was harder than I thought.

"willow, is L coming?" Rini asked me. I looked at her and saw that she was close to crying.

"he might be a little late. He had a case last night and was finishing it up this morning." I said and smiled at her. I saw the older kids sneering, and then I saw Matt and Mello walk in. matt was engrossed in a video game and Mello was crunching on chocolate. I knew that they knew what L's answer was. I looked at them sadly and they sneered with the others as well. I led the kids out, and just saw, out of the corner of my eye, L sitting on the stairs. I was confused but I let it pass and led the kids to the hill. We set up the food and started to eat. Then Rini got excited and got up and ran. I looked up surprised and saw to where she was running. There was a figure approaching in the distance. I could tell by the slouched position who it was. I grinned and the other kids looked at him disbelieving as though they were looking at a mirage. Then they got up and ran to greet him. The only ones that didn't was me, Matt, and Mello. I was sure that Mello hadn't gone because he was trying to seem more mature and I knew Matt hadn't gone because of his hate of L. and I hadn't gone because I knew I would've looked like an idiot, and because I was still pissed at him. He approached with the children hanging on his clothes. It was obvious from a mile away that he was uncomfortable.

"Willow! He came! Just like you said. I knew the others said he wasn't but he did!" an excited Rini said. The older kids looked at their feet sheepishly. I saw L inspect the food and see right away that there were no sweets and frown. Then I sighed and pulled out the basket that had the L insignia on the cloth. I handed it to him and he looked surprised. He opened the basket and his face deepened in confusion. Of course, this didn't stop him from sitting in his unusual way and taking out sweet, by sweet and eating them. The other kids were nervous because he was there, but Rini was to excited to feel nervous. "Mr. L! do you like the sweets? Me and Willow made them. She said that we should make something special for you!" she said happily.

"thank you. These are very good. And please don't call me Mr. L, it makes me feel old." he said happily in paradise because of his entire basket of sweet, sugary delights. When the kids finished they went off to play. They were playing soccer, and because Mello always loved a competition he joined them. Meanwhile Matt sat with his back to the tree paying full attention to his PSP. I walked over to him and sat down.

"Matt." I said as sweetly as I could. He ignored me and went back to his game. I decided to surprise him and leaned over him and kissed him on the cheek. He turned bright red and tried to hide himself deeper into his vest.

"what was that for?" he asked.

"for keeping Mello quiet. And for some other things. Like always being there for me." I said. He blushed more and I hugged him quickly and got up. "so where's Near?" I asked looking around.

"in his room, like always." he said. I looked at him concerned. I knew Mello hated Near, but the way Matt said it, it sounded like he hated he kid too. I looked at him a little longer and then thought of an idea. Then I ran back to the orphanage. I ran up the stairs to Near's room and he looked at me fearfully when he saw the gleam in my eye. I then got him out of his normal silk pjs and into some jeans and a jacket. Then I grabbed a white hat and put it on him. Then I grabbed his hand and made him come with me out to the hill. The other kids gasped when they saw the antisocial albino child grasping on to my pant leg. L looked up and his eyes widened. Even he knew of Near's antisocial behaviors and dislike of the outside. But I knew he was #1 in line of becoming L. And I was determined to make sure he didn't end up like my own super antisocial lover. He was still small so I picked him up and sat him on my lap when I sat down next to L. I hugged him and I could see him reacting like a cat who was dropped in water. He was desperate to escape my grasp that I had on him. I was determined to make him somewhat social.

"near don't be like that. You don't want to end up like L, right?" I knew it was the wrong thing to say since every kid in the orphanage wanted to be like L. But I was merely pointing out that he shouldn't have to have the same flaws as the great detective. But I think the kid understood what I meant because he instantly went limp and looked up at me. He was so cute I was thinking of letting him go but I got rid of the thought because Rini came up to me and looked questioningly at Near. He was old enough to be able to talk, but he didn't want to.

"hello Near. It's nice to see you outside of your room or the playroom." Rini said beaming. I nudged the boy when he wouldn't say anything.

"hi…" was all I got him to say, but it was a start. Rini brought something from behind her back. It was a puzzle. It was similar to the one Near had with the L insignia, but this one was white and had an old English N in the top corner. Only it was on the opposite corner that the L was on in his other puzzle. He looked shocked when she gave it to him.

"I got Roger to order one. It's the only one in the world. And I thought you might like it. It's bigger than the L one. And I got them to make the dimensions of the N slightly smaller so there were more blank pieces." Rini said nervously.

"thank you very much. This is one of the nicest things someone has ever given me. But you act like I'm going to be the one succeeding L. How do you know you won't be the one?" he asked looking at her curiously. This had been a big jump forward compared to before. L was looking at the two children intently.

"because you're much smarter silly. And I don't want to succeed L. I want to be like Willow. She works in the shadows and doesn't need to live up to anything. Plus, I can't work in timed situations. I get nervous and my mind goes blank." Rini said nervously. I had known this about her but she never seemed to let it bother her.

"oh, well I would love to work with you. It would be interesting. You have certain characteristics such as a good deduction of things. You realized I got annoyed because of the fact that the L puzzle was small and the L was too big. That was good. None of the other kids would've noticed that." near said, he was twirling a piece of his hair between his fingers. Rini was blushing and bowed. I looked at her confused. I knew she was Japanese and was trained in Japanese etiquette, but near was American and would think nothing of the gesture. L was still watching intently. Then he spoke up.

"Near, that was bright of you to do that." he said when Rini left. "it proves you have good deduction skills yourself if you realized that the other kids wouldn't have noticed the detail that she did." he said. Near just nodded and dumped the pieces out. Then, one by one he put the pieces back in. only, unlike his L puzzle, in which he started with the L, he saved the corner with the N for last. I smiled looking at the sight before, me. It was one of the happiest things I've seen. That night L looked at me and smirked.

"what?" I asked looking confused.

"you've changed so much. It used to be, if anyone got near you, you pulled a gun on them and screamed obscenities. Now you're playing with little kids and acting like their mother." he said. I blushed and turned my head away. Then he climbed on bed and relaxed. I raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked again. Then he went up to me and stopped me from putting my usual black tang top on that I slept in. "I think I'm in the mood tonight." he whispered.

After September came October and therefore came Halloween. It wasn't really celebrated in Wammy's House, but I was determined to make it this year. I made sure each child had a costume and then I bought at least 10 tons of candy and sweets. I convinced Wammy to let me celebrate this holiday because I told him it was to test their deduction skills, yet still have them enjoy themselves. Each child woke up to list that told them to come to the dining hall. They had no clue. Everybody came dressed in their costumes. "okay, children. I have decided to make Halloween a little difficult this year. You each have your own personalized list. Now that is a list of clues. You must solve every clue and that will give you a set of coordinates in the end. Those coordinates will be shown on the map on the back. You will go to that place and therefore find your candy. Those who cheat and try to steal others lists, will have no candy this year. Do you understand?" I asked eyeing Mello especially. "this is not a competition. The only reward will be your own candy and it will be for succeeding in solving the clues. Now go and have a happy Halloween!" I said. All of the kids quickly hurried off in search of the candy. I sighed and went to find L. he insisted on working today so he was in need of dire punishment. I walked in his room and threw a wad of paper at his head. He took the paper and opened it.

"what is this?" he asked scanning over the paper.

"It's a set of clues. It leads to your Halloween candy. If you don't find it by noon it's free for all and I will split it up between the kids." I said. His eyes widened. And he got up. Then he left the room in search of his sweets. I had a big grin on my face and decided to indulge on some baked chow mien noodles that I stole from on of the kitchen cabinets. I waited and 15 minutes later a very annoyed looking L showed up with a basket of candy.

"I hate you." he said and got out some sugar cubes.

"I know." I said. I had also forced him to look for the candy by hiding all his other sugar. I got out a soda and happily drank it. I would admit that I'm not addicted to alcohol, it was true, I could just stop drinking it, but if you told me to quit soda I'd be worse than a drug addict. Caffeine drove me and my entire body. Without it, I'd be a lifeless husk of a person. I also get very irritable and will shoot anyone in my way. I downed at least 2 soda cans and was starting on my third when I heard commotion in the dining hall. I looked in and saw every single child with a bag of candy. I counted twice to see if I missed anyone but they had all found their candy in thirty minutes. Everyone was enjoying their holiday treat. I smiled and L came up behind me and saw what I was looking at.

"hmm…they are very bright. It was what, thirty minutes to solve 50 clues?" I had given L 100 clues, but I gave all the other children 50. "so what do you plan to do for Christmas?" L asked and lightly kissed me.

"I was thinking of asking Santa Claus to send evil reindeer to attack you and steal your sugar." I said and smiled as sweetly as I could. He mocked me and I lightly elbowed him.

When Christmas finally arrived the kids were more excited than they were when Halloween came. We had a giant Christmas tree and there were presents of all kind stacked under the tree. Each child would receive 4 presents. 1 from me, 1 from L, 1 from Roger, and 1 from Wammy. It was Christmas eve and I was pretty sure not one kid could go to sleep. Not even I, who was hyped up on caffeine could fall asleep. I pouted at L from the bed. He wasn't going to work on Christmas. He had promised me he wouldn't. "L!" I moaned from the bed.

"what?" he asked.

"can we do it? Please? I need something to take the edge off." I could see I used the wrong choice of words. I was beginning to think that he thought I was only using him. "come on!" I whined.

"no. I'm trying to solve this so I can be free tomorrow. Do it yourself." he said. I pouted. I wasn't doing that when I had a perfectly good man in front of me. A little lazy, but I could live with it.

"you're horrible to me. You know that? Any other guy would be on the bed already. And there you are like a workaholic. I thought you solved that case." I said.

"I thought so too. Unfortunately something was overlooked." he said.

"what, that his wife was a prostitute?" I said. He looked at me bewildered. I sighed and threw a file at him. Inside was a list of all her clients. "Jacob Mile. He was one of her best customers. Apparently he found out she was married and killed her in rage." I said and yawned. "then, he noticed he felt better when he stabbed her. He went mad and killed several other prostitutes and his boss. Ta-da." L looked at me disbelieving. I had already solved the case. I didn't want to hurt his pride and ego so I kept quiet. But when he denied sleeping with me I just told him. He called his client and told them. Then he hung up and turned around in his chair.

"I guess I owe you know." he said. I looked at him irritated.

"ya think?" I said and kissed him.

The next morning I made sure to get up and get dressed earlier than usual. I didn't want anyone busting the lock and coming upon me nude. I stretched and towel dried my hair. I had stopped changing my hair color, but I couldn't resist dying it red and green for the occasion. I went down the stairs. L accompanied me. Downstairs the children were eagerly. Waiting in the dining hall. I walked in and stood at the end of the table. They each had already had breakfast. I smiled at all of them. "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" I said and they each heard the queue and rushed to the tree. I heard the ripping of paper and the oohs and ahhs. I knew everyone would get what they wanted and everyone got a happy Christmas. Rini came up to me and gave me hug. I had given her a stuffed bunny that I could call her on and she could call me. I had given Mello a new rosary cross and Matt a new video game system that I had modified to play everything from DVD's to CD's to video games. I saw him smile at me from the room. I returned his smile. After everyone had unwrapped their presents they all became still. Rini walked up to me with a gift behind her back. I looked at her puzzled. She gave it to me sheepishly. I unwrapped it carefully and gasped. It was necklace with Wammy's House, in old English letters. It was black and the letters were carefully crafted ruby. I started to smile and I couldn't stop.

"it's from all of us kids. We each used money from our accounts. It's so you never forget us." Rini said. I motioned for them to come by me and they all ran. I hugged them all and thanked them. The kids also gave Wammy a beautiful watch and L a giant cake and a blanket that they all signed. The rest of the day we had fun and it was one of the most memorable Christmases I've had. L gave me a picture of ma and boss and me that he's found after looking along time. I gave him a pair of new sneakers that looked old since his were a bit too small. It was the best Christmas I've had, and the last happy moment I had.

The next year had started rough. A new killer was on the loose. And L was interested in the case. They called him Kira. It had been a month and Kira had killed over 1,000 people. It was the way he killed that scared me. L had discovered that all he needs is a name and a face. L told me I could participate in the case if I stayed at Wammy's. I had complied but I got more nervous each day. Finally L broke apart from me completely. He told me that he didn't want me working on it anymore. I was confused and I hacked his database several times. Then he changed everything I was unable to get in. which meant this case was serious. I was terrified. And the idea crossed my mind, I knew that L might not make it to see the end of this case. L had flown to Japan and was now working with a small police task force led by Soichiro Yagami. I had been attending collage when I decided to go to Japan as well.


	4. Present

**Present:**

By the time I arrived in Japan there was a lot of commotion about Kira. Some thought of him as a god, others a glorified murderer. I decided to go undercover to a collage, one of the best ones in Japan. There I met the guy L suspected to be Kira, Light Yagami. He was a nice guy, popular, smart, but something about him said evil. Probably his demeanor. I was going under the name Altessa, it was very uncommon, but if this guy knew as much as I thought he did he'd know who I was. I had long hair now, brown, and brown contacts. I looked normal, except for my converse. I made friends with the guy fast and was soon invited over to his house for dinner. When we got there he introduced me to everyone of his family. His father was the one working on the case alongside L. he was home tonight but I pretended I wasn't suspicious. "hello, you must be light's friend from collage." I didn't speak Japanese but I knew what he had said. But to not seem suspicious I looked at him curiously.

"dad, she speaks English only. No Japanese." Light said. His father looked up at me amazed.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to learn Japanese, but with all my studying it's hard to cram lessons." I said and acted embarrassed. "oh, by the way my name is Altessa Estelle." I said. Instantly my name caught his attention.

"Altessa? That's an odd name. you don't hear it around. What does it mean?" he asked trying to cover up his shock.

"it means 'noble reaper.'" I said smirking. After dinner I thanked his family for dinner and then I remembered something. "light. You forgot to give me that book you said you would!" I said. I tried not to laugh in an innocent way like a normal girl. He looked up and suddenly remembered.

"oh yeah, here, come with me." I followed him in his room. I saw the creature laying sprawled out on his bed. It was a death god. Light got the book and handed it to me. He looked where my attention was drawn and looked at me surprised.

"shinigami." I whispered. The death god looked straight at me and I stared with back at it.

"is something wrong?" light asked suspiciously. I snapped back to reality and the death god was gone.

"sorry, I was just spacing out." I said and thanked him. Then I went back to my apartment. By this time Light was working with the task force on the case. The next day he came up to me and asked me if he would come to see his dad. I knew this meant facing L, but I agreed. We came to a large building. We went up several floors to a hotel room. It was filled with computers and monitors. And also sweets. Wammy, who had been using the name Wammy, was going by, looked up and saw me. I bowed and he almost dropped the cake. "nice to meet you." I said in Japanese. Watari regained his composure and bowed back to me. I had picked up Japanese easily. The other task force members looked at me in surprise. Then I saw the familiar head of L in a chair. The chair was quickly turned around. I looked at the task force members. He was actually showing himself to them? What was he thinking? He looked me straight in the eye and I held his gaze.

"ms. Estelle. May I ask what you're doing here?" he asked. I sneered. Why was he breaking my cover?

"I have no idea what you're talking about. L." I said.

"I'm going by the name Ryuzaki." he replied.

"it makes no difference to me." I said.

"may I ask again, what are you doing here? I told you to stay in England."

"and when have I actually listened to you. Wait, scratch that question." I said. I could see the policemen and Light looking at me and L confused. I turned to them. "L and I are old friends." I said as though that explained everything. A young guy, named Matsuda, looked at me really close.

"so you're the Altessa, right?" I nodded and all the others looked shocked. I smirked and they all stood up and bowed. Then they each told me their names. I took out my handheld and played "gory demise" by creature feature. They all looked at me strange.

"you all just died." I said. L looked amused. I sighed and explained when I saw their confused faces. "from hacking in L's database I learned that all Kira needs is a name and a face. By telling you that I'm Altessa, which I am, all of you showed your faces and told me your names. I could have killed you in a matter of seconds." I said and smirked at them again. "by the way L, I want you to listen to something." I said and brought out my handy-dandy laptop. My fingers glided over the worn keys. Unlike L's awkward way of typing my hands flew over the keys. I was at my place in a matter of minutes. And I had hacked into the speaker systems. I clicked enter and immediately the song began to play. It was "god's gonna cut you down" by Johnny Cash. L listened and his eyes widened. "I was listening and it sounded a lot like Kira. He's trying to be God. And we need to stop him." I said and grinned. "plus, Kira can't kill me. It's impossible."

"impossible. How is that?" light asked. He was just upped one more on my suspicion boards.

"why should I tell you? You're the prime suspect and Kira in my books." I said. I glared at him. "I hate to use the Yagami family but it was necessary for information. By the way chief, you have a lovely wife and daughter." I said nodding in Soichiro's direction. The older man gaped at me. I yawned and stretched. "L, good luck with your investigation. I hope you don't mind me staying here. I hate to live in a hotel for the rest of this investigation." I said. He nodded and I went up to him and lightly kissed his cheek. "don't die on me okay?" I said.

"I'm more afraid for you. And I don't expect you to be killed by Kira." he said looking at me.

"I must admit I'm only hoping I don't get gunned down. Criminals can be tricky, even I know that. I was one after all." I said looking at Light.

"A CRIMINAL?! Ryuzaki, what are you thinking? This is a police investigation, not crime scene. She could know Kira!" light yelled. I smirked, it was just the reaction I was hoping for.

"Light, you don't mind. I was just a part of the largest crime syndicate in the world. No big deal." I said. "and boys, remember the name Altessa Estelle, she will solve this crime." I said. I left. The shinigami was floating outside the window. I sung an old lullaby that came into my head:

Oh please death,

Come and save my soul,

You're the only judge for me,

So judge fairly,

Lead me into the dark,

I am not scared,

Wipe away my tears,

And make sure I never cry again,

Oh shinigami,

Come out and play.

The shinigami then looked at me. And it flew down to me. "Where did you hear that lullaby?" the death god asked.

"I don't know, by the way what's your name?" I asked.

"the name's Ryuk. You must be Altessa." I smirked and nodded. "you're going to kill Light Yagami, aren't you?" Ryuk asked. I nodded. He laughed wildly. I threw an apple at him and he ate it whole. "thanks. So you honestly don't know where it's from?"

"nope, I saw you and it just popped in my head. Do you know what it's called?"

"yes, it's called the Shinigami's Lullaby. It's used to call us. I haven't hear sang by a human before. Usually only the shinigami king sings it. And it doesn't sound as good." I smiled. I had stopped walking because Ryuk had stopped several feet away. "I can't go any farther. I must stay by the owner of the death note."

"so I was right. Light Yagami is Kira?" Ryuk looked embarrassed and looked around.

"umm...uh…yeah. But I have one question." I looked at him curiously. "why is it that you can see me? You didn't touch the notebook." he said puzzled. I sighed and took out my contacts. My eyes glowed orange. They weren't shinigami eyes. They were just, special. I could see things other people couldn't, like shinigami. I quickly put my contacts back in and smirked.

"nice meeting you Ryuk." I said and walked away. Over that year I had come to the conclusion that Light Yagami was Kira and he killed people by using the death note. I had also found out that Misa Amane was the 2nd Kira, who appeared a little bit later. I still kept my secret safe, only because I knew no one would believe me. Then it happened. Light and Misa gave up ownership of their death notes and forgot everything. Then a new Kira was made and was caught. And that's when it happened. The others learned of the death note and shinigami. I decided to hang with the task force when they discovered this. I strode in smirking. Of course I made a wrong move. I forgot to touch the note book and I still noticed the shinigami. "hello Rem." I said walking in. the others stared at me in disbelief.

"you could see the shinigami and you didn't touch the notebook. Interesting." L said. I was able to come up with a story why though. I walked over to the note book and picked it up.

"this thing is the murder weapon? To think I went right over it." I said. L looked at me curiously. "I did in fact touch the notebook. It was when I did a house search on Misa's room. I touched it, but just dismissed it as a notebook." I said. L nodded, of course he bought my story. How could he not. I hated lying to him but it was the only think I could do to keep myself safe from Light. If he were to find out about my eyes it would be a disaster and I'd be classified a freak.

Rem helped the investigation, though there was a couple of rules in the death note that confused me. Then of course that day happened. I looked for L all over that morning. I had woken up alone that morning and last night L had seemed so sad. I didn't see him until noon. He showed up with light, I didn't understand why he had befriended him, but I let it slip. L was watching the monitors and he revealed his plan. "I will use two convicts who are to die in a little over 13 days. If the rule is true, they will die on the 13th day. If it is fake they will live and Misa Amane will be arrested and executed." I saw Rem's eyes widen. She'd do anything to save Misa. I then reassured myself. Rem wouldn't do that. She'd kill herself as well. I sighed and watched then I saw Watari pop on the screen the alarm was going off. He was clutching his chest. Then he pressed a button and all the data was deleted.

"WATARI!" I yelled and my lips trembled. Then L fell from his seat. Light caught him and said something. I didn't listen. My world had just come tumbling around me. I walked over to light and pushed him out of the way. I then dropped to my knees. He was in the last seconds of his life. "L Lawliet, I love you." I whispered. The entire time I was with him I had never said it. I was afraid I might have bad luck and something might happen to him. I bent down and kissed him. Then he went totally limp in my arms. "L! please, wake up." I said and sobbed. I had never cried. But in that moment I sobbed for the longest time. I took my contacts out as well, in the last moments he saw me, he saw the real me, brown hair, and orange eyes. I cried in his old white long-sleeved t-shirt. He couldn't leave me. I didn't know what to do so I sang. I sang the Shinigami's lullaby. "Oh please death, Come and save my soul, You're the only judge for me, So judge fairly, Lead me into the dark, I am not scared, Wipe away my tears, And make sure I never cry again, Oh shinigami, Come out and play." no shinigami came. Rem had turned into dust. Rem may have thought Misa was safe by killing L, but she only placed her in more danger. At L's funeral I didn't cry. I was so angry. It was amazing that I didn't choke Light with my own hands. I was going to wait though. I was heading back to Wammy's House. I bid the task force farewell and left.

When I got to the orphanage I went to L's room and locked myself in. I didn't cry. I just stared at the ceiling. Finally Roger asked if he could come in. I told him no, but I slipped him a black piece of paper with white letters. It said "L was dead." I heard him gasp when he read it. And I heard him walk away. Then I heard another knock, "who is it?" I said in a raspy voice.

"it's Matt." I got up and opened the door. Then I hugged him for the longest time. I just held him. "Mello heard the news. He's leaving the orphanage." he said. I nodded and went with him to his room. Mello was packing everything he could.

"Mello…" I whispered. And went to him and hugged him. "I know you're angry. I am as well, but what do you plan to do after you leave?" I asked him. He shook me off.

"I don't know. Near will take L's place. I gave it up. I refuse to work with that albino bastard." I sighed. I went up to him and kissed his forehead.

"take care of yourself Mello." I whispered in his ear.


	5. Moving On

Over 5 years passed. Mello eventually contacted Matt. I had went with Matt again. I was more open about loving him that I was with L. I dreaded to think about my late lover. Of course tonight was special since I wanted to take it all the way with him. I waited for him to come back after buying cigarettes. We'd left Wammy's house a year ago. We've been renting an apartment. The door opened and matt walked in. I greeted him in only my underwear. He was so shocked he dropped his cigarette. I laughed and he rubbed it out. "you're going to ruin the carpet." I said. Matt had definitely filled out. He was taller than me, by two inches. He had a white and black striped shirt and tan vest. Then he had his striped pants and combat boots and leather gloves. We were still living in England. I went up to him and kissed him deeply, his hand came up and grasped my ass. I reached behind my back and took off the glove. Then I took off his other one. After that I unzipped his vest and threw it to the corner of the room. He pushed me to the bedroom and laid me on the bed. He slipped his hand in my underwear, and I arched my back. I pouted at him and made him take off his boots. Then came his shirt. And then his pants. We were both almost naked. Our kisses got more and more heated.

"Altessa?" matt whispered in my ear. I answered with a moan. "are you sure about his I mean it's not like I hav-" I cut him off by slipping my tongue in his mouth.

"like I fucking care. You act like it's my first time." I said and got on top of him. He reached over and shut off the light. It was only our bodies after that.

For the first time after had sex, I woke up with someone by my side. Matt was sleeping, his eyes closed peacefully. I smiled at the sight and laid my head on his chest. "I love you Mail Jeevas." I whispered. He smiled in response. We were peaceful for the year. It was on New Year's that things got complicated. Me and matt had bought a six pack of beer and had some cigarettes. We were planning to watch the ball drop in New York when Matt's cell phone rang. He picked it up.

"Mello? What the hell dude? I though you were like dead or something. A favor? Yeah, America? I guess I can. Sure. I'll be there Mel. See ya." he said and hung up.

"Mello?!" I said disbelieving. "what does he need you to do?" I asked. Matt had already started to put his pants on. "MATT!" I yelled. He turned to me and smiled. I pouted.

"Mello's joined forces with the mafia. He kidnapped the head of police and then Sayu Yagami. Unfortunately the police got to him and he blew himself up. He needs my help for his next move to catch Kira. So, I'm going to San Francisco. Coming?" he asked. I sighed and got up and started getting dressed. I packed everything and so had he. We had one whole suitcase filled to the brim with video games and another 2 filled with electronics. We took a taxi and went to the airport. The flight was long but I fell asleep on Matt's shoulder while he played his PSP. I was shook awake when the plane landed. We were then led in a car and taken to some base. I saw Mello and took notice right away he was pissed. One side of his body was burned. It had been left puckered. His hair had grown messy. I ran to him and hugged him.

"what a dumbass." I said and poked him. He smirked at me. I glared at him. "what the hell are you trying to prove getting yourself blown up like that? Huh?" I yelled.

"Yeah Mel, why did you blow yourself up. I thought we were going to do that together." Matt said and laughed. "damn this place is deserted. What the fuck happened?"

"Kira. He killed most of my men. Then the police happened. I told you I was forced to blow up my hideout. And I lost the notebook." Matt knew what he meant by 'notebook'. I had told him everything. Even about my eyes.

"so what's your plan Mello?" I asked and sat down on the couch.

"I need you, matt, to monitor Misa Amane and Kiyomi Takada. I have reason to believe that they're in contact with Kira." Matt sighed. He probably thought this was going to be something fun, that involved hacking into high tech security systems. Instead he was on watch duty. "Willow, since I didn't ask you here I don't have a job for you. Sorry." he said. I shrugged. It wasn't like I cared much. I yawned and laid my head on Matt's lap. He rested his gloved hand on my head. Mello raised an eyebrow and I glared at him. When matt left to hook up the equipment I glared at Mello.

"Mello, if Matt dies, I will kill you. I hope you're aware of this." Mello nodded. I sighed and when to Matt and helped him set up the equipment. For the next 25 days we monitored and discussed. Mello decided that he'd kidnap Takada. Matt would act as the distraction and Mello would take Takada and bring her to an abandoned church. I didn't pay much more to the plan after that. I had camera's in both Matt's car and on Mello's helmet and in the truck. I then waited. I was anxious that night. The next morning we were all on edge. Finally it was time. Mello and Matt both left. I stopped them both. "you both come back to me. Alive." I said. Matt gave me a thumbs up and Mello smirked. Then they rode away. I walked back to the monitors. I watched as matt shot the smoke bomb and distracted the guards. They chased after him and Halle put Takada on Mello's bike. Then he rode off. I then watched matt go from curve to curve in his car. Then I saw it. The barricade of cars. Matt was stuck. I watched as he got out of the car. He said something to the guards but I didn't make it out. Then he went to get his smoke gun and all of the guards fired. It felt as though something had pierced my heart.


	6. Ending 1 Too Late

**Ending #1:**

I rushed over but when I got there it was too late. I checked for a pulse, but I found nothing. I wept like I did when L died. I held Matt's lifeless body and sang the Shinigami's lullaby. Ryuk appeared out of nowhere. "you called?" I nodded.

"Ryuk, let me see your note book. I'm fully aware that even if I write someone's name in it I will still go to heaven. After all, I have the death angel's eyes." I said smirking. My contacts were out and my eyes blazed orange. Ryuk gave me his note book. I bit my finger until it bled and in my own blood I wrote the name: 'Light Yagami. 1/28/10. Dies by being tricked into a warehouse, then shot several times. He barely escapes and makes it to a tower, where on the steps he experiences a heart attack and dies.' Ryuk looked at what I had written and laughed.

"so it seems you've gotten your revenge." I nodded and hugged matt's body closer. I then found out Mello had also been killed. I waited patiently, and exactly 2 day's later Kira's death arrived. I worked in a daze for a little less than a year. I told the task force good-bye and told them that on my grave-stone it should say 'Altessa Lawliet-Jeevas-Wammy - finally reunited'. And on the anniversary of L's death I walked up to the top of the building he had built in order to capture Kira. I then sang the Shinigami's lullaby, getting closer and closer to the edge. And finally I fell and embraced death. And when I awoke I found L and Matt waiting for me in heaven. Along with Boss and Ma. And I had finally accomplished the last chapter in my very own glittering note.


	7. Ending 2 Happily Ever After

**Ending #2:**

I got to the scene as quickly as I could. He was still breathing. I called an ambulance and they quickly picked him up. He survived all 11 bullet wounds. I cried by his hospital bed. I got the police to let him go and he was considered a victim of Kira. It was Kira's followers who did this. I visited L's grave. I put a bag of sugar cubes on the grave and sang the Shinigami's lullaby. Ryuk landed beside me. I told him what to write in the notebook, he complied. I reread it just to make sure: 'Light Yagami. 1/28/10. Dies by being tricked into a warehouse, then shot several times. He barely escapes and makes it to a tower, where on the steps he experiences a heart attack and dies.' I nodded and when the time came, Light Yagami died.

Matt fully recovered and I lived my years happily with him. I became Mrs. Willow Altessa Jeevas. And on 11/5/11, I gave birth to twins. A boy and a girl. Matt walked in holding the girl. In my arms was the baby boy. "so, names. How about Sora and Kairi?" he asked. I laughed at him.

"no, the baby girl I'll call Adiana, meaning 'the night's falling reveals angel's beauty.'" Matt nodded in approval of the name. "and this little boy, I'll call…L. Unless you have any objections." I told him. He smiled at me and shook his head no. "Adiana and L. I wonder what your futures have in store for you?" I lived happily and my children grew up and lived their own lives. I died on 12/22/66. And matt died a year later. And therefore I sang my last shinigami lullaby and closed my glittering note.


End file.
